My tears inside

Am I now
Too old to cry?
Should time have stitched 
The opened wound?

And then one day
When I too have to die
Would someone else
Weep like I now do?

Can the ivory bird
Now fly
And bring to light 
My darkened sky 
Or is hope being hoped for
Too soon?

Now tell me a story
Convince me a lie
And give me the thread
To define existence
And give purpose
To a withering soul
That wants to bloom

Intros

The following are short poems I used 
to introduce each section in my collection of poems Blank Canvas

Section 1
Blank Canvas

"The canvas of life
 Laid bare for their artistic showers
 But all they painted was tragedy
 ... if only they'd painted flowers"

Section 2
Faithfully

"In the heart of Eve
 Secrets are buried
 Both living and dead
 Shhh... don't ever ask
 For she will never tell"

Section 3
Mari-Paul

"A listening ear
 Proved to be true
 A promise for a lifetime:
 Me and you"

Section 4
What a Wonderful Phrase!

"There are those days
 When the sun does shine
 And we can be happy
 For a moment in time"

Section 5
Venus

"When hearts are blinded 
 By youthful desire
 Reality ignites
 Burning dreams in its fire"

Section 6
A Tale To Tell

"In books
 In life
 Of a story in time
The pen, the paper
Listen... "

Women of War

The song was followed 
By the bang of the blasts
Waltzing along the ballroom field
A legacy of hope, shot into the past

For the crown has spoken
And away hearts would surrender 
Emotion then must be faithful
As life, the battle will plunder

And a quadrille is danced without fear
Footsteps trotting to the explosion of the hum
As hearts twirl in despair
Emotion must follow the drum 

After the waltz

I feel like sixteen again
Whenever you're around
I smile, I blush inwardly
I just can't let you see
How much more than a friend in you
I've found

But this feeling can never be true
I must hide it away
Bury it deep in my heart
And from what is morally right, far apart
This type of love just cannot stay

So don't smile at me again
And I promise to look away,
To think about actions and consequences
Then around my heart build strong fences
In a memory is where you'll stay

Broken

Away we fly
As in our hearts we die
But I suffer the pain.

Emotions can't deny
That Love really did try
But what's left should not remain.

So as time goes by
I will no longer cry
For a me and you,
for a time and place 
that's no longer the same.

I am not the one to blame

Goodbye

I could never get a hold of the clouds
No matter how hard I try

And it's always impossible to stop the raindrops
When those very clouds cry

So difficult it always will be
To stretch my hand to the saucer in the sky

Or catch the gentle morning breeze
As it goes sailing by

And as inconceivable as it would forever seem
Tonight I must do greater than all the above

Tonight I let my hopes and dreams vapourize
Tonight, I bury your love

Unrequited love

It hurts when you speak to me
Please don't stand so very near

For my emotions are plain to see
Brimming with counted tears

How can you even smile at me?
Don't you for my feelings care?

I may just cry uncontrollably
For your presence I can no longer bear

Damn it! Just let me be
And I will move on in this sphere:

Of life and love eternally
Turning my fantasy into a most horrific
torturing, heartbreaking
nightmare

My journey thus far…

  Did I have unrealistic expectations? Some would say I did. 
But a girl can dream and writers do write. 
  So whilst my debut novel Sans Espoir and my collection of poems 
Blank Canvas didn't make the impression or have the impact I had hoped
they would, I continue to pursue my- no not dream because it's 
already happened-,*** of being a writer and so I write.
  There's the reason why I continue: my dream was to be a writer- full stop. 
And whether book sales continue to crawl or pig fly threw the roof, I measure
my success by completion and not $$$. Each time I pen my heart on paper and 
complete the novel or poem I had set out to write, I am successful.
  I love writing and will continue to love it, live it, dream it- publish it.
So were my expectations unrealistic? No they weren't. I had expected and hoped 
to one day write and publish and have persons read my work- I'm living that,
dream?, no... reality!!!